Communicating the Entourage way

Entourage, HBO's comedy-come-reality look at Hollywood celebrities and agents just finished a spectacular sixth season with a renewed focus on the relationships of best friend-turned-manager Eric Murphy love triangle with Sloan and Ashley; driver-turned-student Turtle and real-life love Jamie Lynn Sigler; and super agent Ari and his beleaguered assistant Lloyd.

Gone were the lame and limp behind the scenes movie-making stories of Vincent Chase, now, appropriately regulated to a supporting role. Instead the season provided increased depth for Eric, Turtle, Ari, and Lloyd - depth that not only increased our affinity for each, and interest in their plot lines but also provided a lesson in communications between the sexes.

The Entourage gang each experienced communication problems so common that no matter how great the boys and their ladies (and yes Lloyd fits this category) get along, each ran into some miscommunication somewhere along the line. The good news for the Entourage boys (and all of us), is that with the right approach, these problems usually aren't too hard to solve.

Eric and Sloan: Bridge the gender divide!
Men and women approach relationships in distinctly different ways - so do Eric and Sloan. Without an open mind, it's all too easy to write the opposite gender off as "illogical" or even start thinking of their differences as childish or petty as Eric repeatedly does. The fact is neither gender is perfectly logical. Taking some time to learn about exactly how the opposite gender looks at love matters can help you avoid a lot of problems in relationships.

Turtle and Jamie Lynn: Listen thoughtfully!
Don't forget that you're one half of the communication problem. Turtle and Jamie Lynn's once secret relationship quickly reached a point where they started to think they knew what each other was going to say. Unless they have ESP, though, they'll get a lot farther by actually hearing you're each other out. When Jamie Lynn tells you something, restate what she said to make sure you understood correctly and let her know you heard.

Ari and Lloyd: Release the need for blame!
Ari and Lloyd - when one of you has a problem, the relationship has a problem and it's in both your best interests to work it out peacefully. Instead of going around in circles trying to decide whose fault it is, focus on how you're going to solve it. Likewise Ari, try to avoid blaming Lloyd for your overall mood. Specific issues like "When you work with other people, I feel rejected." are fine, but sweeping statements like "You make me miserable." or "You stress me out." are taking it too far.

Ashley and Eric: Stick to the facts!
Ashley was a little young for Eric, but even she should know that when trying to talk over problems in relationships, don't bring up anything you can't prove. Instead, stay with what can't be argued like your own feelings and what Eric already agrees they he had done. For example, saying "You disrespected me by calling me Sloan and denying it" can be argued because standards of respect differ. On the other hand, accusing Eric of infidelity and requiring him to prove his innocence is not only unarguable, but also gets your point across more clearly.

Lloyd and Ari: Be frank, but kind!
Lloyd you're not doing anyone any favors by taking a "put up and shut up" attitude to Ari's trial and torment on the path to becoming an agent. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester and they can eventually reach the point where they'll never heal at all. Instead, speak your mind when you have a problem, but do so with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Even Ari has to relate - eventually.

Jamie Lynn and Turtle: Be a friend, not a coach!
Jamie Lynn, chances are, Turtle isn't with you because he was hoping you could re-make his sneaker and t-shirt wardrobe and lazy bad habits and personality flaws into an up-and-coming college entrepreneur. You're not his parent, teacher, coach, or boss. You're his friend and lover. You may think you're giving constructive criticism, but Turtle might think your love or respect for them has diminished because of this one little flaw they have. Instead of criticizing, encourage improvement by giving him positive feedback when e does something you really like.